The first words Curvy Buddha uttered, on January 1st of this year, were: “Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place”. For the past 12 months, love kept revealing itself to me, inviting me to come out and play, joining me into the depths of fear and insecurity, holding me when my heart was shattering, teaching me to unlearn everything I had thought I knew about it and re-learn kindness, patience, compassion, forgiveness, healthy boundaries and standards.
I thank you, fellow friend, for joining me on this journey of personal growth and discovery, for being a trusted travel companion, for doing your own work of walking the spiritual path, for allowing the Universe to carry you towards the fulfilment of your life purpose, guided by your North star and carried by your many gifts.
I want to start by sending some well deserved birthday love to the beautiful, charming soul who has been my dearest encounter of this year, and who has taken many of the forms and shapes of the love that I had the pleasure to experience. I want to thank him for touching my soul so deeply and honestly, for meeting me halfway, for being allowing of my imperfections, for letting me know he was getting home safely even when he was thousands of miles away, for telling me that hugging me reminded him of his childhood garden because of the henna in my hair, for taking me on a virtual trip through Monet’s paintings and more importantly, for reminding me of my femininity. I wish him the wisdom, the courage and the strength to fully manifest his most intimate wishes, and the love within and without, that will allow him to flow along with the energy of abundance, towards the accomplishment of his heart’s desires.
One of the greatest lessons of 2019 has been related to debts, the payment and reimbursement of any overdue physical and karmic debts, the release of any soul contracts I may have held, in order to make room for the energy of love and abundance to flow in. I have taken actions to free myself from strings of consciousness that were tying me down to financial or emotional commitments, to step into my new age and into the new year bare of the engagements weighing me down.
A few days ago, during a tarot reading, a childhood trauma was brought to light, yet again. I was advised to work with my inner child, in order to heal the emotional imprint of that particular episode. The way I went about it was fairly simple, starting from a state of calm and meditation, I went back to the traumatic moment, relieving it and healing it, by allowing little Vladiana to reach out, to feel listened to and understood, and to receive the compassion, the reassurance and the love she had so deeply needed in that instance.
Dissolving the pain with love, I realised how beautiful my inner child is. Pure and loving, sun in her smile, joyful, curious, brave, mischievous and free. I also realised how loved I was as a child, having my grandma to wipe away my tears and my grandpa to take me on adventures, such as sleigh rides and playground swings; my mother to allow me to explore in safety and my sister, the peaceful warrior, to comfort me serenely.
Finally, I understood that now, as a grown woman, I can fully rely on myself. I am here for myself, I can give myself the love and compassion that I need, I can understand myself and guide myself on a path of self-fulfilment, by using all of the tools and all of the lessons that I acquired in my three decades of life and more than a decade of romance.
Therefore, with only a few hours to go before we move into the grounding, healing and supporting energy of 2020, I would like to offer you, fellow friend, a Nahuatl blessing, a gift of wisdom from my past life, so that you may set yourself free onto this new path of love and fulfilment.
“I release my parents from the feeling that they have already failed me. I release my children from the need to bring pride to me; that they may write their own ways according to their hearts that whisper all the time in their ears. I release my partner from the obligation to complete myself. I do not lack anything, I learn with all beings all the time.
I thank my grandparents and forefathers who have gathered so that I can breathe life today. I release them from past failures and unfulfilled desires, aware that they have done their best to resolve their situations within the consciousness they had at that moment. I honor you, I love you and I recognize you as innocent.
I bare my soul before their eyes, so they know that I do not hide or owe anything other than being true to myself and to my very existence; that walking with the wisdom of the heart, I am aware that I fulfill my life project, free from invisible and visible family loyalties that might disturb my Peace and Happiness, which are my only responsibilities.
I renounce the role of savior, of being one who unites or fulfills the expectations of others. Learning through, and only through LOVE, I bless my essence, my way of expressing, even though somebody may not understand me.
I understand myself, because I alone have lived and experienced my history; because I know myself, I know who I am, what I feel, what I do and why I do it. I respect and approve myself. I honor the Divinity in me and in you. We are free.”
With this newly acquired freedom, I am ready to draft my life project for the upcoming year. Building on the good habits I learned for the past year, I vow to continue being true to my truth, to stay in my power, to be the embodiment of Divine love, grace and light, to be pure, joyful, loving, creative and free. Adding to that, I take inspiration from Sadhguru, and I vow to keep myself healthier and happier through these daily practices:
1. Be mindful of the water that I drink and use Prana to cleanse and purify the water’s memory, so that it may heal me, restore me and renew the life force within me.
2. Be grateful for the food that I eat, know where my food comes from, respect and cherish the ingredients and be mindful of my food intake.
3. Spend 10 minutes outside, breathing fresh air. Spend minimum 1 hour connecting with nature every weekend.
4. Spend 10 minutes outside, during sunlight.
5. Be mindful of the “fire” that burns within me, practice short meditations to recalibrate my energies and tune in to the Source of love, gratitude and abundance.
Finally, since 20 is a number of Divine communion, I send my wish into the Universe, that 2020 be filled with intimacy, understanding, sharing, compassion and love, with the joys of physical and spiritual union with a loving partner, that we may experience harmonious, soothing, groundbreaking, sexual-healing, passion-igniting, spirit-awakening, knee-shaking, heart-opening, mind-blowing, soul-lifting, mission-driven, tantric 3D partnerships with high-vibe soulmates, in a permanent manifestation of mutual service, mutual growth, mutual learning, mutual healing, mutual freedom and all-encompassing love.